My mother has a degree in hindsight. She frequently tells me so. Often at great length and with excessive detail. It’s always a surprise to her that somehow her knowing, after the fact, what I should have done in the first place… isn’t exactly a comfort to me. For a mother of 3 I’ll admit I should know these things by now. But I never fail to surpass my high standards in achieving and maintaining inadequacy! I’ve compiled my top 5 clangers that really could have been avoided with the benefit of hindsight. This post was inspired by my fellow blogger Julie, who is experiencing technical difficulties. I feel your pain – and it never fails to surprise me how similar our lives can be even on opposite sides of the planet!

5. We should have left 15 minutes ago.

I regularly think this is in a variety of different scenarios. When I’m leaving the house for work, I realise I should have put the shoes out last night, that there are many hiding places for tiny shoes, that my youngest daughter has an evil streak. Also, when I’m leaving a friend’s house in 3 shifts because I have to carry not one, not two, but three wailing, over tired and now hysterical children to the car. And at the moment, when one of the children make the embarrassing, fist chomping announcement you pray they will never utter: ‘We should have left 15 minutes ago.’

4. I should have stopped drinking an hour before I did.

There is no kick in the teeth quite like the one that accompanies a hangover with small children. And, ladies and gents, I never learn. Often coupled with ‘we’ll only have a couple’ and ‘they might lie in tomorrow.’ This sort of rookie behaviour is completely inexcusable. After a particularly shocking example of this at a wedding, I also realised wet wipes do little to clean vomit from the exterior and interior of car doors.

3. I should never assume we are in control of our own home/lives.

They dictate when we eat, sleep, leave, arrive. How we dress, how they dress, what colour plates we use and how often we speak to each other in one meal sitting ‘Mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy.’ Sometimes when I forget this, I’m quickly reminded.

2. I shouldn’t have tempted fate

This applies to the following stupid fate-tempting brags:

• They’ve been sleeping really well
• They haven’t been sick for ages
• I think she’s over the terrible twos
• She always sleeps for at least an hour
• They’ll get on really well
• She/he has done a poo today, I’ll leave that spare nappy here…
• Mine haven’t been through that phase yet.

1. You shouldn’t send your 5 year old out to the garage using your iPhone as a torch.

Here endeth the lesson. Share your worst folks, what should you have known, in hindsight?